Here are the exciting events of the last couple days:
Friday I woke up with a migraine, and took one of my special poison pills. Normally these make me feel awesome but this time I was terribly depressed all day and had a sort of breakdown at work. After work I kind of felt like driving in no particular direction and not stopping. So I wandered around the city for quite a long time and somehow ended up on top of Goose Island Overlook (not sure how that happened). So I walked around there for a while, and then (oh no!) could not start my car, which seemed pretty fitting. Then I wasn't quite sure
what to do. Who do I call? What the heck do I do? I don't know anybody who's home right now! (my parents are away on vacation, all my friends would be at a bowling-birthday-party). Luckily Amy answered her phone and saved me, and thank god for cellphones (incidentally, I later told god exactly what I thought of him before hurling some rocks in his general direction and telling him to fuck off). Some more wandering (somehow, I found myself on the road up the hill to Goose Island Overlook
again), then I ended up on my parents' farm where I spent most of the next two days doing nothing and watching Pi (because you can never watch Pi enough times), and also going on a several-hour-long walk across the fields--bad idea, it was very hot and sunny which invariably results in more headaches. Now it is the last week of work. After this week I will have very infrequent internet access, so I'll probably get very agitated quickly. Over the weekend (only 2 days without internet), I went through severe withdrawal.
I seem to have committed myself to grad studies in English, mostly because the registrar phoned me today wanting a synopsis of my future plans and I said I was going to apply for grad studies. I always feel I have to tell them I'm planning on pursuing academics further, as if they'll withhold paying my scholarships if I don't (which may very well be true, I wouldn't know). But I'm also becoming more and more interested in math and science, especially astronomy. I mean, what's with
Gabriel's horn? Finite volume yet infinite surface area?
Crazy. Et cetera. I have a bad habit of quitting in the midde of things and deeply doubting what I'm doing. I really don't know where to go for advice anymore.
According to
this personality test, I am:
introverted, irritable, observer, depressed, does not enjoy leadership, reveals little about self, dislikes large parties, does not like to stand out, sensitive, not a thrill seeker, solitude loving, likes silence, fragile, second guesses self, negative, unadventurous, fearful, weird, paranoid, phobic, dependent, cautious, avoidant, semi intellectual. Oh boy, how very positive. I ask you, weird? And "semi" intellectual? All lies, I tell you!
I know, I haven't posted the drawings like I said I would. I just didn't feel like setting up my computer and then packing it up again two days later. Next week! For sure!