Tuesday, August 06, 2019

My Dream House

Do you ever imagine what your dream house would be like? Me neither, but I do have a recurring dream about a house (which belongs to me in the dream). It’s like a sit-com of the continuing misadventures in Megan’s Nightmare House.

[P.S. I don't own any property IRL, especially not a house.]

The first thing you should know about this house is that it isn’t even located in the city where I live. I just go there occasionally to check on it and make sure no disasters have befallen it (spoiler: disaster zone is its natural state). And every time, I wonder why I haven’t gotten rid of it yet.

One of the house’s primary distinguishing features is that the doors don't quite latch properly—and definitely don't lock—so they frequently creak open of their own volition, admitting all kinds of inclement weather, rodents, and burglars. (Why haven't I gotten this fixed yet?) For some reason, there's always a passageway that connects it to other housing units, or occasionally to a college dorm (I don’t even know… terrible design if you ask me). So at any given time, random strangers might flow through the creaky self-opening doors—but mostly it’s just a looming, unrealized threat. The interior is usually pretty barren, with moldy carpet that is particularly weather-worn around the wide open window (which is flanked by tattered gauzy curtains billowing in the stormy breeze).

At some point during the dream, I inevitably recall with horror that I have a cat, which I have forgotten to feed or provide litter for. [P.S. I don’t have any pets IRL.] Usually the next phase is for me to foray into a shadowy basement that is one enormous room filled with boxes and old housewares—basically it looks like if you tipped a Value Village on its side so that all the contents accumulated in a giant heap. Then it's a matter of tentatively poking around and discovering that the single cat somehow multiplied into about a dozen cats, all in a gaunt and rabid white walker-esque form. On one occasion, the cats were in a crawlspace above the ceiling (in the absence of a basement). Then, at least some of the cats escape out of a self-opening door, and I spend the rest of the dream trying to chase them down.

I don’t read too much into dreams, but my takeaway from this one is Never Own A House.