Monday, November 27, 2006

Shirking? They pay you for that?

I'm impressed with the new IE—it even has tabbed browsing. And the first level of my drop-down menus work on it! If you refuse to get Firefox, you should at least upgrade your IE. Drawings have now been converted to the new style.

The last couple weeks have not been busy, but there have been a few things I needed to take care of, like SSHRCing and grad-school-applying. Both of those could probably have been wrapped up in a single week, but the SSHRC took inconceivably long (and just when I thought I was all applied, they sent my application back for me to mull over), and grad school wants several things that I'll have to think about. For one, they want a lengthy essay written in the last 12 months. Unfortunately, the last few English classes I've taken were the rushy, summer-type, where they don't make you write long essays, plus I was working full-time as well so any essays I did write aren't too inspired (except for my Crakespeare essay where I refuted everything the prof asserted—masterpiece!). Too bad I decided to take "fun" classes like astronomy, physics, and music in my last full semester. Well, I don't think it's too bad; that was the best semester ever. But other than the essay (and a statement of intent, and a resume), grad school is pretty much applied for.

I hate how much I struggle with this grad studies thing; if I'm so unsure I want to do a Master's in English, isn't it obvious it's the wrong route to take? But I'm not so sure I'll hate it anymore. I would have enjoyed my summer classes if I had had time to do the reading and understand what was going on. And it's only two years, one of which (hopefully, granted they let me do a thesis program) will be almost entirely my own research on something "interesting" (I put it in quotation marks because, while I do find it interesting, most people wouldn't. I hate it when people ask me to explain my research proposal; I feel like I should be apologizing profusely for wasting their time by explaining it, which is probably why I come across as being unenthused about it). And I'll have a Master's degree at the end. But I really am getting excited about grad studies, and maybe even about doing english-related work after I'm done it. Mostly I'm just afraid of not liking it, afraid of wasting so much time on it. But hey, what have I been doing the last three months if not wasting time?

One reason for my renewed enthusiasm is that I got a freelance writing job. I had hoped to do the research and writing all month, but found out that I only have a week to get my article in. Here's where I should kick myself for quitting J-school—interviewing is not my strong point (and I just discovered today what it's like to interview people who don't want you to waste their time). But I'm not sorry I quit J-school either. Anyways, with any luck this will be the only article I'll be writing.

In fact, I really don't regret any of my university-related choices. I got a little bit of everything, and if I didn't end up focussing on my favourite aspect, well it's really not too late. I can't decide on one thing anyway, but I no longer feel like I have to—I'll just do everything. And I'm excited to start doing it.

Maybe in the new year.


Anonymous said...

first off, craziness. tis scary to think i'll be getting one of those in a couple months....

I'm glad you're excited about grad school! but i don't think you should feel bad about your proposed thesis, regardless of how silly you might think it would be to other people. I mean, nothing's sillier than my old roomate who flew to liverpool to do her masters in a science fiction program. Funny thing is, they're doing classic sci-fi (think i robot, brave new world, neuromancer, etc) and her thesis is on homosexuality in a series of fantasy novels. silly girl.

So yeah, basically, all in all, do what you want, what you like cause that's really all that matters. Doing something accepted by others and hating it all the while totally isn't worth it.

and good luck on your freelance article ;)

Blake said...

I think it's usually impossible for anyone to adequately explain what their thesis topic is on and then make it sound interesting. Like anyone really cares what I'm doing. But most other people seem happy in their 9 to 5 job pushing paper around or answering phones. It's not like they're saving the world either. But I like what I do and that's all that really matters to me.

Lapsura said...

During my SSHRC workshop, a few other students were so enthusiastic about their proposals. Admittedly, I didn't find them very interesting, but they managed to make it sound fascinating and, more importantly, worthwhile and important, which is what matters in this case. I like to think that my new proposal is more convincing than it was at that time.

Anonymous said...

So what are you going to start doing in the new year?


Lapsura said...

I think everything hinges on outgrowing (or at least managing) migraines, so I'll start with that one.

And living in a new city!!!!111~~~