Kippers for Breakfast

HAPPY ST. SWITHIN'S DAY!!!!!

My violin is stuck in a mobius belt

Somewhere, right now, someone is enjoying a free violin. Damn them. Damn them all. It's probably the same person who is raising a toast to bacon double cheeseburgers. And they live in Langford. For some reason, my kindly seller is opting to let Bacon Double-Cheeseburger keep my violin, and is going to have a new one sent to me, even though UPS is in the wrong for delivering it to the wrong address. Meh, just so long as I get a violin out of all of this. Interesting, though, how everything I attempt goes awry, even when I'm barely involved as in this case. And by gosh, if they give this violin to Banjo Double-Bacon...

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• "Overall, [Lapsura] received 1 comments, while she commented 0 times, making about 0 comments per day since she joined DA. This means that she received Infinity comments for every 10 that she gave." That's right, I wear the mobius belt. I am master of Infinity.


• And the secrets of the universe are laid bare for all to see.

Deathly Hallows

One of the major bus stops is right in front of Chapters. Chapters' doors are always propped open, just so that I can wistfully gaze in through the bus windows.

Today, the open doors were a portal displaying an entire pallet of boxes, with "CAUTION" yellow security tape wrapped around the entirety. Boxes and boxes and boxes.

Written on them with a sharpie: "HP 7"

Chapters is just taunting me.

In other news, I bought a fantastic book called "Inventing English" by Seth Lerer. My theory teacher had been saving all the excerpts printed in the newspaper for me, and I got fascinated. It's rekindling my interest in Anglo-Saxon as well as my anticipation of beginning my M.A. in the fall.

you make me touch your hands for stupid reasons

Turn your speakers on. Right now! And now, a dramatic reading of a real break-up letter by a real person.

Even more transcriptions.

what the dickens?

I bought a violin today! Now to wait for it to arrive. I fully expect that it will not be a great instrument, and that I will bring out the worst in it. I also bought a hat, to shield myself from the cruel, cruel sun.

There are finally a few new drawings up.

Fun fact: The phrase "the dickens" was coined by Shakespeare in The Merry Wives of Windsor.

To do this summer:

• delve further into Orchestration I, Baroque I, and History I
• wield my super-pass and go watch music lectures/masterclasses/concerts
• fiddle around on violin (great pun there)
• do 1 more interview/article for Luther
• wander around the city a lot
• go back to Saskatchewan, twice
  • July: 1 wedding; 1 giant family gathering; 3 doctor appointments; visit family and friends; eat raspberries/saskatoons/hazelnuts/whatever else I can forage from the ol' orchard
  • August: 1 wedding (my brother's! at which I will be singing a duet), collect useful textbooks and transport them to BC; visit family; forage some more; possible school reunion
• find place to move to; move
• do some composing and transcribing
• finish website

ow, my stomach hurts

My theory teacher is so awesome. "Are you sure you don't play a string instrument?" That's pretty flattering, since orchestration is unknown territory to me. Also, last week: "Why do you know how to do this?" I should have said I'm a prodigy or something.

• EastWest Quantum Leap Symphonic Orchestra. This sounds fantastic. Apparently, if you spend enough time programming every single note, it's almost indistinguishable from a live performance.


• This is a neat site; there's lots of things to click. Like a maze, kind of.


• My god, this would be beyond awful.

the lineup

First Class Honours in Analysis V!

I'm temporarily looking forward to grad classes. Here's my lineup:

FALL/WINTER

1. Studies in Literary Theory: The Subject and Postmodern Culture
"...focuses on the impact of deconstructive, (neo-)marxist, and psychoanalytic theories on postmodern self-understanding of decentered and commodified subject. Blah blah blah paradigm shift." I'm contemplating substituting University-course-teaching class with this, but probably not since the idea of a teaching internship frightens me.

2. Studies in Middle English Literature: Moral Fictions—Ethics, Aesthetics, and Medieval Texts.
Most likely to be an awesome class involving a lot of Chaucer.

3. Studies in 19th Century Literature: Film and the 19th-Century Novel.
Good books, good movies, Charles Dickens, Jane Austen... and some crappy novels, but you win some and you lose some.

SPRING

1. Introduction to Textual Studies and Methods of Research
A required course, but one that doesn't involve giving presentations. Basically a class on library sleuthing and making annotated bibliographies and such.

2. Old English Poetry
The class designed for me, involving continuous translation and Anglo-Saxon verse. And Beowulf, but that was self-evident.

3. Studies in 17th Century Literature: Poetry and Protestant Culture in 17th-Century England.
My introduction to Milton.

Hopefully I'll also be doing some sort of grad-research-related work, or working in the Writing Clinic or something.

Meanwhile, I will be continuing with Orchestration I and Baroque I, though I'll be taking it at an easier pace next year.

Also, I'm going to start learning cello so that I can hopefully take an exam at the end of the year, so that I'll be eligible to join the cello orchestra (and possibly the First Level regular orchestra, though I have a feeling that would be me and a bunch of little kids) when I really start cracking on my ARCT. Plus there are two choirs I can join when I start it: Conservatory Chorale ensemble for adults which does Baroque to Contemporary, and Ensemble Laude which is a Medieval/Renaissance women's choir.

Ooh, I just discovered a Conducting class... add that to the list. ARCT days will be busy. And it would appear that the ARCT might just qualify as full-time post-secondary studies, despite being entirely private-lesson-based. It would also appear that I was supposed to talk to the Registrar of Post-Secondary Programs prior to registering ):< I'll get around to that next year.

The VCM music festival kicks off tonight with some guitar works by Beethoven.

online once more

fixed

and then a masked cat crawled in the window and graffiti'd my domain

New transcriptions on my music page: Nanou 2 in the Aphex Twin section (which is completely playable as a duet! but not so much otherwise) and, my preciousss, The Frail (version) from Things Falling Apart in the NIN section. It's a string sextet! God I wish I were a string sextet, or soloist or something. The cello has got to be the most beautiful sound in the world. So, transcriptions are there at any rate.

Except, they won't be there for long. Because guess who now completely owns her own domain! (me.) Gosh, it was so easy to wrest it from the grip of that loathsome Autumn character; I don't know why I didn't do it before. Be sure to thank the Sun Gods if you've never had dealings with him/her/it. Anyways, I'm getting me a *real* host, pretty soon.

Facebook is getting too cluttered... but I love the new graffiti!

Oh, and BEST THEORY LESSON EVER.

And now it is time to go to sleep. It's a pretty rare thing that will motivate me to stay up all night, though I'm not a bit tired for some reason. I think it's because I'm sleeping less these days... the more I sleep, the more tired I get. I should just give it up entirely. More time to do stuff!

That and I have to stay up and ward zombie cat burglars off. Or the little dog next door that followed me right down to my door.

Music definitions you won't find in Grove's

Music definitions you won't find in Grove's

OBBLIGATO: being forced to practice
CON MOTO: yeah baby, I have a car
ALLEGRO: a little car
METRONOME: short, city musician who can fit into a Honda Civic
LENTO: the days leading up to Easto
LARGO: beer brewed in Germany for the Florida Keys
PIU ANIMATO: clean out the cat's litter box
CON SPIRITO: drunk again
COLLA VOCE: this shirt is so tight I can't sing
IMPROVISATION: what you do when the music falls down
PRELUDE: warm-up before the clever stuff
FLATS: English apartments
CHORDS: things organists play with one finger
DISCORDS: thing that organists play with two fingers
SUSPENDED CHORDS: useful for lynching the vocalist
TIME SIGNATURES: things for drummers to ignore
MELODY: an ancient, now almost extinct art in songwriting
KLAVIERSTUCJ: A term used by German furniture movers attempting to get a piano through a narrow doorway
MUSIC STAND: An intricate device used to hold music. Comes in two sizes - too high or too low - always broken.
TONIC: A medicinal drink consumed in great quantity before a performance, and in greater quantity afterwards.
DOMINANT: What parents must be if they expect their children to practice.
CONCERT HALL: A place where large audiences gather, for the sole purpose of removing paper wrappings from candy and gum.
SOTTO VOCE: singing while drunk
AGOGIC: playing high enough on an oboe to make the eyes bulge.
CADENZA: slapping noise on office furniture
FANDANGO: grabbing the pull chain on the ceiling fan
PRIMA VOLTA: jump start with a battery
REFRAIN: proper technique for playing bagpipes
SMORZANDO: with melted chocolate and marshmallow
MINOR SECOND: two oboists playing concert A

TDWWA (still)

Expanding my horizons. I really don't know what the proper procedure is for scoring guitar. Suggestions?

It is now June 3, the day lapsura.com expires. Soon it will be mine. All mine... why isn't it expiring yet, gosh. It's June 4 already in the rest of the world. Anyway, heads up for approaching moving.

Drukqs

Introducing... my new project: Aphex Twin transcriptions! [thanks Ryan :) ] I need to clean up my website, and/or redesign it. So disorganized. So many pages that need updating/link-fixing.

In other news, I had a whole hour theory lesson yesterday! It was awesome. He even busted out a recorder and I got a tonguing lesson. Although, when he was assigning some orchestration homework, he said "of course, you'll never hear it. That's the thing about composing: usually you only get to hear it in your head."

Also, my string quartet is now on my music page in its present entirety, if you care to have a listen. Remember, it's all at uniform dynamics because I'm lazy and don't want to re-Reason the whole thing. Comments? Please?

DONE

I FINISHED MY STRING QUARTET IN TIME!! In a last-minute effort to pull it together in time (after completely giving up for too many days) I went through all 9 variations x 4 instruments = 36 files (er—2 more files and it'll be good enough) multiple, multiple times, and finished the final variation. Took me all freaking day, but it's done in time to print off and hand in tomorrow. Well, it's missing the second-last variation, but I'm submitting it anyway. I almost gave up on it, and was going to submit my choral piece instead... but now I'll just submit them both :)

Here is the final variation (or, failing that link, just go here: http://www.freewebs.com/meganmain2/TheRoseQuartet%2DVariation8.mp3). It's the only one I wrote knowing anything about strings, which is why it involves double stops and artificial harmonics while none of my other variations do (and why some notes in my other variations are unplayable). Except, Lilypond typesets harmonics great but doesn't know how to render them in MIDI, so it just sounds like shrill piercingness in my audio file. Try to imagine it. That's all I can do, too, since I don't have a great idea of what harmonics sound like anyway. And, Reason has pretty decent strings samples, but also no harmonics. And no dynamics on the audio, I don't feel like fighting with Reason; Lilypond sapped all my energy. If you don't understand why Lilypond is such a headache, then you should be informed that it's purely programming that bears no resemblance whatsoever to a score; here are 8 measures of 1st Violin:

r2 f8\mf-.^\markup { \italic {pizz.} } r f-. r
f2\downbow\<^\markup { \italic {arco} } ges4\!\f( bes)
c8\downbow( bes) f-.\upbow r ges-.\mf^\markup { \italic {pizz.} } r aes-. r
aes4\f(^\markup { \italic {arco} } ges) f( ees)

ees8( f) aes-. r f-.\mf^\markup { \italic {pizz.} } r f-. r
aes2^\markup { \italic {arco} } f
r4 ges8-.^\markup { \italic {pizz.} } r r4 c8-. r
c-. r bes-. r r4 f8-. r

Now it is time to watch Corner Gas until I run out of episodes.

• The new Chad Vader episode is possibly my favourite one yet. [Edit: my mistake, that's not the newest one; episode 8 is newly out.] Although... you should still watch the first 3. They're awesome. On a related note, episode 6 reminds me of PRIMUS: "I will go ahead and switch your long distance service for you." Ha, actually that whole phone conversation sounds like the one I had with PRIMUS... except they actually did switch mine over. Blasted jerks. They actually told me that it wasn't optional.

shut down all the elevators, lock up all the knives

So I was battling with Lilypond again, and finally got frustrated enough to email them asking why their blasted documentation told me to do things that Lilypond says are impossible... and then two minutes later, it dawned on me that I've been using the documentation for a slightly older version of Lilypond than I have. Ahhhh[choir of angels singing]! Things are unsurprisingly much easier when you do things the program's designed to do.

I brought all my Tales From the Bean home on my last day of work (that's the Awfully Waffley version of Drawings From the Library), but my camera cord has gone the way of my entire acrylic paint collection (i.e. wayward), so I'll have to get a new one before I can post them. Or the guy I lent it to could return it. Either way. My "lending" stuff always turns into me buying a replacement.

• VCM festival passes are still $99.


• This site is hilarious, especially the testimonials.


• Oh yes, I am phycic. And yes, I meant to say "phycic"... my Corner Gas DVDs are so far away :(


• I love this remix of The Hand That Feeds! It makes me happy :)

I need a project. Something big that I can accomplish and feel proud of. Something other than vacuuming the house. Like, taking a pile of broken clam shells, some twine, five staples, assorted ivy leaves... and building an authentic Stradivarius out of them or something. Or something realistic but equally rewarding.

Happy AIR Day

HAPPY AIR DAY! It's also Trent Reznor's birthday. Actually, it's AIR day because it's Trent's birthday.

Q. What is this AIR thing anyway?
A. It stands for Art Is Resistance.

Q. What is it resisting?
A. Apathy in general. Anything you want, in particular. (That site is fairly new, not sure how great it will turn out, but it's a start, it's not unwieldily full of info that people are likely to skip over, and it links to some other good sites.)

It's been quite a while since I last posted... lots has changed since then.

1. Work: last Sunday was my last day at the Awfully Waffley. I left on good terms, surprisingly. Xetch was not so lucky, and actually got fired for no reason (is that even legal?). Mrs. Cuttlebort said the nicest thing anyone could possibly say to me: "I will miss you." I'll miss her too.

2. Analysis: last Saturday was my exam. I was the only one writing it, so I was in a room full of noisy little kids writing Rudiments. Thankfully they left after an hour. My exam envelope was roughly 35x thicker than theirs. The exam itself was pretty lengthy, and they had way too much harmonic analysis on it—the hard kind, too, where the chord changes every bloody eighth-note, with French sixths and all kinds of C.T. chords and what appeared to be cluster chords in a freaking Beethoven sonata. Oh Beethoven, my bane and my hero. Sonata analysis is time-consuming enough without having to symbolize the entire introduction. The exam wasn't overly tough, just tiiiime-consuming, and requiring fast and furious cogitation. I rushed like mad the entire 3 hours and, not only did I have NO time to look anything over at the end, I didn't have time to peruse the fugue and sonata in search of some 1-mark answers. I was sorely tempted to write "this question is dumb" on the 20th-c section, but left it blank instead. Goodbye, anticipated 90s.

3. ARCT: my half-hour Analysis lesson has morphed into three classes. In one half hour. Two of those being ARCT classes, and ARCT being "more work than a Master's but less than a PhD." One class is History 5, the single remaining theory exam I need to take in order to get an ARCT in voice performance. I'll do most of that on my own and maybe even get the exam out of the way in August. The ARCT courses are Orchestration I and Baroque Counterpoint & Analysis I. I am going to love Orchestration! Though, I know he doesn't teach during the summer, so I don't know what will happen with this... maybe wait until the fall, maybe put it off a year while I do the English interlude. But the ARCT is my life's purpose (found it!)... I don't want to put it off.

4. University: Officially starting in September. They've admitted; I've accepted; it's all settled. Which means, come September I will be working on two master's-level degrees simultaneously. Won't I be quite the educated one when all this is finished? I'm hoping I'll be far too busy to wallow in loneliness next year, though I could just as easily be far too busy wallowing and obsessing to do homework.

5. Composing: my first-ever choral piece only made it to quarter-final status in the competition I submitted it to, which is still something to be happy about I guess. I've got 2 variations to go on my string quartet, so I could realistically finish it by the June 1 deadline, though it will be far less polished than I should like. And god damn Lilypond; I spend hours writing the variation and then typing in the PERFECTLY GOOD code in Lilypond, and it spits out this, and I have to spend another hour going through the bloody thing and tweaking. This was by far the most extreme example, though, and at least it actually makes the score rather than saying "I can't do it! You must fix it first!" so I can see where it went awry.

6. Writing: having a few articles under my belt has translated into a raise to 15¢/word, which doesn't sound like much but is 50% more than last time. I only took on one article this time, which needs to have been approved by the interviewee, edited, and in to the magazine by the end of May. Oh, and yet another magazine rejected my poetry. I guess the world is just not ready for rhyme schemes involving mathematical symbols.

7. Random Facts:

• I have a sudden and strange desire to play croquet


• I need to take T'ai Chi, or Chai Tea, or something relaxing. I'm getting way too uptight and snappy and anxious and whatnot. Trying harder.


• I'm rattling around in an empty house for a few days, and pretty much at loose ends as to what to do with myself.


• the killer tortoise. titter titter... I was waiting for it to eat the cat's face off.
  


• You know Harry Potter is big when it has its own entire tab on the Chapters website.

Megan Nell -- [noun]: A poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever How will you be defined in the dictionary?

typing this instead of being at work

I called in sick for the first time today. Actually, I didn't call in, I made my miserable way to the store, looked green for a while, and then asked politely if I could go home. I didn't think I'd make the bus ride home. So glad for the day off, because the next two days will be grueling. How I'd love to request all weekends off for the next month. I already booked next weekend off for my exam, so maybe that will fix the glitch in the schedule that currently has me working EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND CLOSING SHIFT.

I've finally gotten around to playing with the Year Zero garageband files. Besides stripping away the vocals to varying degrees upon request by macless ETSers (strange... people don't like Trent's voice?) I made a very brief remix of My Violent Heart and a decent mashup of Zero Sum.

• My Violent Remix
• Zero Teardrops

But further fiddling must wait, because the VCM composers' competition is fast approaching its deadline.

I dyed my hair a little bit again, this time bright red (but just part of it) and yellow. Needs more yellow.

I got good news on the Composition/Theory deal, and will hopefully be starting Baroque and Orchestration (or more likely one of those) next fall, when I also start my Master's. Violin lessons for the summer are also a go, though Mr. Brown sometimes has derisive comments about the Susuki method going on next door during my lesson. Mr. Brown's so awesome.

But what's really awesome is that I snagged an all-access pass to the music festival on the day before the price doubled. So, for a mere $99 I get to go to lectures, masterclasses, and concerts every day for nearly 2 months! <sarcasm>Unfortunately</sarcasm>, this means I must quit my job, which I plan on doing at the beginning of June.

p.s. May the fourth be with you

impeaching season

Everyone should call this number right now and say that you support the impeachment of Bush/Cheney: 1.202.225.0100. Maybe do it twice. Or thrice. It's anonymous, you don't need to be American, and it's legit. Nancy Pelosi (Speaker for House of Representatives) is hosting a phone survey to gauge public support for it.

Reasons to Impeach the President

A much more restrained post than originally planned

We went to Don Giovanni yesterday, the "greatest opera ever written" according to some. I'm inclined to disagree; it was pretty good, but there are a lot of pretty good operas out there (probably).

I've been getting terribly irritated and angry at just about everything lately (especially ties, people with babies on the bus, the bus, hot panini, my alarm clock, the sun glaring into the bar, the rain in general, the cold, work people... I've got a whole angry post about it all but am not about to post it. But I get the next couple days off work so it's all good for now.

I haven't had anything to do with music for three weeks. That's another thing I'm unwontedly angry and irritated about, though it's entirely my own fault. I don't mind not doing Analysis homework, but I want to be composing, playing piano, transcribing music (oh so angry), learning new instruments, attending lectures and masterclasses. Instead I tend to fall asleep after work. And my exam is in less than 2 weeks. And I haven't had a lesson in 3.

I'm now officially going to do my Master's here in September.

• Well look at that, I'm on the Subversive Network #2 (24.24.2.1631)... and apparently deceased.

Question of the Week

At the bottom of the "Things We Desperately Need" chalkboard at work is the "Question of the Week." It used to simply pit two characters against each other, who wouldn't normally be in a dueling situation, so to speak. Like Elmer Fudd vs Fred Flinstone. Old School Ozzy Osbourne vs Old School Alice Cooper. A buffalo with a shark tied to its back vs an eagle clutching a crocodile. At least, there used to be a question of the week, back when there used to be a manager who invented the concept and devised the questions. In recent weeks, the Question of the Day has remained blank.

The owner's mother now works at the new store. She is the one whom all us old-school employees trained with. Somehow, she manages to instill the strictest sense of loyalty and discipline just by being present. You address her as Mrs. K——. You do what she says. I've actually bowed to her on occasion. Seriously, bowed; subtly, yet undeniably. She sometimes struggles with English, but if you even think about sneaking a look to a coworker for a little translation aid, you're doomed. I love her to bits.

I was cutting up a baguette the other day, after being enlisted to do so by Mrs. K——, except we don't refer to her as Mrs. K—— unless we're actually talking to her. Let's pretend her name is Judy. There is one other fulltime employee who, along with me, is the last surviving member of our particular training group. Work is terribly dull, long, and tiresome when he's not there, but an endless series of jokes (practical and otherwise) and laughing when he is. "Do you understand the desire to break things into the smallest possible pieces and stuff them into cups?" he asked, glancing over from where he stood rinsing dishes two feet away. Actually, I do. Luther. I replied in the negative. "What are you doing?" "I was told to do this," I replied. There was no need to specify who had told me to do so. "If someone told you to... eat whatever's in this sink drain," he said, fitting gestures to words, "would you do it?" That's an easy question. "If Judy told you to eat it, would you?" I hesitated for a full 10 seconds before honestly saying, "I don't know."

It's not written on the chalkboard, nor is likely to ever be. But, the best question of the week to date is, "What wouldn't you do for Judy?"

musicless

Gosh, this is the second week in a row that my Analysis class is canceled. Analysis is the one regular thing in my schedule these days, and it's also one of the most calming things in my schedule. I'm going to start on a new composition; it's been too long. It's also been far too long since I've even seen a piano, much less played one. ...actually, I just saw ~20 pianos in the music store the other day... but that doesn't really count.

It's harder to walk up the hill to the bus stop when it's sunny out, like today. I just feel like lying down on the grass and dozing. I'm thinking, blue next, soon.